(j. depp. yum)
After years of entertaining the ideas of relationships and settling for admirable acquaintances, I’ve gradually collected and composed a series of qualities I’d consider above average, if not superior in the dating department. After some “extensive research” and a comparable amount of time spent discussing the male specie with my girlfriends, I’ve gathered a list of something I’d consider to the perfect man. And it goes a little something like this…
He’s got to be smart. Not just smart, but intelligent. He has to be able to carry a conversation in a room full of know-it-all’s without turning into one. He should have a set goal, or purpose in life. Whether it’s teaching inner city school kids the value of an education, or running numbers on Wall-street, it should be his dream, not mine.
He has to be truthful, honest, and sincere. Truthful about his past, honest about his present, and sincere about his feelings. He has to be strong. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. He’s got to understand I can be tough, demanding, and a total bitch at times, but despite our differences in opinions, he’s got to acknowledge a woman’s worth is more important than her words. And in time, I’ll come right back to being my caring, considerate, and compassionate self.
He’s got to be a fan, not in terms of sports, but one of culture, arts, entertainment, and travel. He should be athletic, but leave the games on the field and accept the fact that I will never play his. He should accept me for who I am, not what I can do for him, or make of him. He’s should be patient with me, and kind to all, for we never know who’s fighting a tougher battle.
He must love animals- especially dogs, without acting like one when he’s out with his friends. His friends must be good people. I can still hear my mother’s voice reminding me, “you are the company you keep”. Moreover, he should accept and embrace all my friends (including the male ones). He must be well mannered, and well maintained (without spending too much time or money in the maintenance department). He must be financially independent within budget. His overdraft fees should never be of my concern when arranging dinner plans.
He needs to have a sense of humor, and great smile. That quote always comes to mind “If you can make a girl laugh, you can make her do anything”. See what happens when you get me laughing. He must insist on turning up the heat to tropical climate temperatures before getting in bed, because he knows how cold my little fingers and toes get. He should be a gentleman, not because he’s trying to impress me, but because it’s the right thing to do. After all, chivalry is not dead fellas, but our relationship will be if there’s no effort made.
He’s got to be a passionate lover. Not just in the bedroom, but in the kitchen, living room, and hallway. He’s got to know when to speak up, man up, and take out the trash without me reminding him to do so. He’s got to be loyal, loving, and devoted to our cause. People assume loyalty and love are indifferent in terms of relationships. I’ve always believed in loyalty before love. Loyalty remaining a constant, while love is somewhat unpredictable; subconsciously shifting phases and adjusting to various other molds.
He’s got to be a believer and dreamer. Not just a believer in his dreams, but in a higher power, regardless of organized religion. He’s got to keep up with me, and more importantly, keep it real with me. I’ve never learned anything from a man that continually agreed with everyone. He must be my protector, without being overbearing. Aside from being my knight in shining armor, he must let me cast my own light and never let me linger in his shadows. His personality should be greater than his ego, and his ego should never come in the way of his character.
He must stand by me in good times, and in bad, and believe in me when I forget how to stand on my own. He must be a romantic at heart, and compromiser at will. He’s got to be good with his hands and kind with his words because in truth, there are times when I undeniably come undone, and occasionally fall apart. He’s got to know when to hold me, when to let go, when to walk away, and when to stay. And in the morning, I just hope he knows how to make a respectable stack of blueberry pancakes. ;)
