There’s One in Every Crowd

When I first started this blogging site, I was under the impression that was the majority of my audiences would be female dominated Through some positive feedback, and immense support from friends, it was my guy friends that encouraged me to write this entry. (Anthony, you’re my creative inspiration, Kudos)

With that said, Guys, this one’s for you. It doesn’t matter what your mackin’, stackin’, or even packin’ when you approach a girl under these circumstances. From personal experience, these are the kind of dudes we don’t want to talk to.

Read on my little enthusiasts.

Your ‘Wing-Man’ Dude: He’s like your safety blanket for talking to girls at a bar. Hello. Just cause there’s two of us, and two of you, doesn’t mean that the one of mine, wants anything to do with other one of yours. There’s nothing more annoying then having a guy approach you with one of his cheeseball friends, assuming he’s ‘taking one for the team’ while you work your magic. Chances are, if I’m busy talking to you, my friend’s already scoped out the next cutie at the bar all before your wingman even took flight.

Exception: Your wingman is cuter, or on the same playing level as you. Then maybe we can arrange a future play date.

Your ‘All-About-Status’ Dude. I haven’t even finished my first drink and I already know your financial plans and life goals. Not only did your parents think it would be unfair for you to go to school and work at the same time (gasp), but they also took the liberty of linking your credit card to their bank account. You drive a Beemer? That’s nice. You just went on Spring Break. Impressive. Oh was that a yawn you ask? No, it was just a SILENT SCREAM BECAUSE I’M VISISBLY BORED TO TEARS with this conversation. Carry on my little math major, because you’ve clearly failed at getting any numbers here.

Exception: Your daddy believes in helping struggling students pay off their student loans. Then indeed, yes, you can leave me HIS number, and I’ll be sure to get in touch later.

The ‘Drunk-as-Fuck’ Dude. Guys, we all know there’s nothing more annoying than an overly inebriated girl at the bar (or anywhere in general), but what about your 6’2, beer guzzling, shit-talking, stumbling-all-over-the- place idiot friend. Have you ever witnessed this guy attempt to approach a cute chick at the bar and miserably fail?? Oh I’m sorry, does it look like I wore this new outfit so I can have your retard friend accidentally spill the rest of his drink on me?? No. I don’t think so. Can we please get Stumbles Mcgee a glass of water, and maybe a babysitter, because it’s clearly bedtime for this kid.

Exception: none.

The ‘Closet-Gay’ Dude: It’s a must have in every group. (yeah you guys know who I’m talking about) Baby face, nicely dressed, and defiantly the most polished out of the group (makes him an easy target for females). He’s also usually the first to “eye fuck” with a cute girl at the bar, but chances are he’ll never seal the deal (cause he’s obviously got no game when it comes to chicks). Nice, I just spent the past 45 minutes talking to your “no-dude-I’m-obviously-not-gay-cause-I-talked-to-a-hot-chick-all-night” friend about bathroom décor and bedroom linens, while my girlfriends just scored 2 rounds of tequila shots with the straight guys next to us.

Exception: Your gay friend loves my purse, shoes, and shopping. ..A lot. Then it’s on.

The ‘Cheap-as-Fuck’ Dude: There’s nothing I hate more. This is the first kid to show up at your place with the cheapest bottle of vodka and a backpack of beers leftover from the night before. Not only is he half in the bag when he arrives at the bar, but he’s also the first to insist on opening a tab with your credit card (Dude, he’s gonna pay you back). Not only is he cheap, but he’s also loud.  Instead of taking time to chill out, he’s now arguing with your other drunk-as-fuck-idiot friend over who’s more of a pussy when it comes to finishing a beer. As if this type of behavior doesn’t amplify the situation, your cheap-ass-friend decides he wants to score some brownie points and buy the nearest lady friends a round of shots. By the time you decide to settle up with the tab, he’s already managed to ‘mysteriously disappear’ for the night. As I leisurely watch you sign the check, you’re so irritated with your cheap-ass-Houdini friend that, (gasp) you absentmindedly forget to tip the bartender (who’s attentively over-poured your drinks, shots, and waters throughout the night). Who’s the asshole now???

Exception: Your cheap-ass friend extended his graciousness and sent over a round of shots to our table. (Awh how sweet). Hopefully the bartender remembered to include the 18% gratuity because she’s dealt with you overly-inebriated idiots before.

The ‘Always-Fighting-With-His-Girlfriend’ Dude: Again, can someone remind me why you guys even bother inviting this kid out?? Not only has he wasted his entire Saturday night aggressively texting and arguing with his lunatic ex-girlfriend, he’s also taking up valuable seat space and elbow room at the bar. (I could totally sit down right now too, these shoes are killing me) As far as I can tell, he’s being a total buzz kill. Next time bro, leave the drama at home.

Exception: His lunatic ex-girlfriend also happens to be the mother of his child, reminding him to get his ass home and help take care of Anthony, Jr.

Like unwanted diseases, these dudes show up in every crowd,….and unfortunately, at every bar. Whether your out with your girlfriends, boyfriends, or even parents, make sure you’re prepared for each situation, drink in hand.

Rainy Day’s Ain’t So Bad Afterall

As our New England weather makes its not-so-subtle transition from winter to spring, a surge of emotions floods through my thoughts this morning. With gray clouds above, and life-size puddles below, I can’t help but miss the comfort and security of a warm body pressing up against mine. Don’t get me wrong, I love sleeping alone. All those trivial arguments about bed space, stolen covers, and room temperature being too hot or too cold, make sleeping alone more of a luxury, rather than choice. There’s nothing like the freedom to sprawl across your bed, tangle yourself up in covers, and roam freely in the middle of the night from bed-to-kitchen, and back-to-bed again, without feeling awkward or guilty. It seems as the older I get, the less I like sharing space, bathrooms, and blankets with semi-significant others. Maybe it’s the only child in me, but as much as I love my freedom, I love my bedroom space more.

However, with mornings like today, where clouds visibly grieve, and colored umbrellas vividly decorate the streets, there’s something about rainy days that awaken a child-like need in me to hold someone close and passionately under my covers. Maybe it is just a silly want, or foolish need, but I can’t help but miss the coziness of having another person nuzzled up next to my sleeping body.

I guess the older we get, the less we depend on others to comfort, and awaken our souls. Something about rainy days that allow us too sleep in a while longer, pull our blanket a little closer, and postpone our morning deadlines to later in the afternoon.

And so it is. Maybe rain isn’t too bad. Every now and then we need to be reminded that it’s OK to cancel plans, turn off the alarm clock, and wrap ourselves closer in love with all those who unintentionally stole the covers the night before

Let’s Do This.

After many years of giving advice, I decided to start my own blog primarily dedicated to the one thing I’m good at giving, but somewhat skewed at maintaining; Relationships. Most of my advice comes from family, friends and mainly observation.  What is posted in these tid-bit’s comes from the uncut, uncensored, and honest experience of yours truly. If you don’t like it, I suggest you stop reading now. Not because I’m afraid of offending anyone, but mainly because I have no intentions in sharing my opinion with those so shut of to receiving advice.

For those of you that know me, and moreover those of you that don’t, I would describe as spunky, outgoing, and definitely not one to settle down in the near future (as much as I’ve tried, I just don’t know how to commit without feeling everything and nothing all at once).

 After some time of being single (more recently choice, rather than desire), I find myself being the ‘go-to’ person for advice. The reason I’ve allowed myself to open up to those in need, is because I’ve personally allowed myself to experience every kind of hot, cold, and luke-warm relationship. Whether it was long-term, short-term, healthy or not, I can truthfully say it’s all been part of a growing experience to discover who I am, and the kind of person I want to be with (or not be with) in the end.

So for those of you that are up for this ride, buckle up, because as many of us know, love isn’t always smooth-sailing, there’s storms, sharks, and man-eaters out there. You’ll have rain, clouds, and gray skies. And although you may not always have the perfect catch, at least you’ll be ready to face it with the finest bait possible. Yourself.

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